My new EatSmart Precision GetFit Fat Bathroom Scale

My new EatSmart Precision GetFit Fat Bathroom Scale

That’s a mouthful.

I got a new bathroom scale.  Which is interesting because I don’t actually use a bathroom scale.  We have one somewhere, but it got removed from the bathroom, because I didn’t use it and kept stubbing my toe on it in the night.

I know you folks who are really concerned about your weight management like to have your own private scale at home.  This way you can perform that morning ritual of weighing yourself to track your progress.  I know how it works.  You strip down to your birthday suit and get your morning judgment.

I have never been afflicted by that need to micromanage one aspect of my health on a dialy basis.  I take a more holistic approach.  I see weight as a symptom of a healthy lifestyle and if you are doing the rest of it then weigh t still matters, but usually takes care of itself.

Don’t assume I don’t know what you’re on about with all this fitful weighing in.  Au contraire mon ami.  I have one thing to say that will immediately establish my scale-compulsion bona-fides…”High School Wrestling”

That’s right.  I spent my formative years making weight twice a week for wrestling meets.  This meant getting on the scale multiple times a day.  It didn’t matter what else was going on you had to make weight.  Run 2 miles in the gym in a rubber sweat-suit…weigh in.  Jumping jacks in the furnace room…weigh in.

I can tell you the exact weight of spit my friends.  I could lose 10% of my body weight in 24 hours when I was 16.  Sounds healthy doesn’t it?  I know all about compulsive scale watching.

These days as long as I maintain my endurance exercise routines and eat clean I don’t worry about micro-managing my weight.  The only time I look for the scale is when things seem to be getting out of control or I have a race coming up that I’m tuning my body for.

I use those big balance scales that we have at the gyms I go to.  You know the ones.  You slide the big clunking weight across into the appropriate notch then slide the smaller weight over for the fine tuning.  They are very mechanical and make an excellent metallic noise.

Every once in a while I’ll get on the gym scale.  I like to confirm the fact that I’m still in the ‘green’ zone. Many times I’ll weigh before and after workouts to get an idea of sweat rate and how much I need to rehydrate.  But I’m not compulsive about it.

Last week I got sent a dandy new digital bathroom scale apparently because I have a gazillion Twitter followers and talk about endurance.  From the nice people at EatSmart.  The scale people aren’t stupid.  They know their big retail season is coming up on January 1st when all you miserable fat sots decide to make weight loss one of your New Year’s resolutions.

I’m glad they sent it to me.  Apparently I’ve been working with 1950’s scale technology.  As I unboxed this one I noticed a couple of things.  One is that there are no moving pieces.  Nothing clunking around in its innards.  I also noticed it came with 4 AAA batteries.  Everything is digital electronic these days.  When the zombie apocalypse comes there’s one more thing we won’t be able to do…weigh in.

It’s also nice and heavy.  I’d have to say a solid 8 pounds.  Of course I’ll have to estimate, because in order to weigh it, I’d need another scale.   It’s very modern looking with no buttons, dials or anything else.  Just a shiny glass-like surface, black, like a modern range-top stove.

Since it is digital first thing I had to do was program it.  Yikes.  Don’t lose the manual.  It has 8 built in profiles.  To set it up you select a profile.   Then it asks you whether you are male or female and whether or not you are an athlete.  It asked me my height and age.  It didn’t ask me my weight because it already knows that.

Then the moment of truth.  I have it all set up. I carry up to the bathroom and dutifully strip down.  I place my big ugly size-12D feet with their high arches onto the scale surface comfortably.  It thinks for a awhile.  It seems to be a bit indecisive as to whether I’m a pudgy 190.2 pounds or a slender 190.0 pounds but comes to the conclusion that I own the extra .2 pounds.

Then it thinks some more and after a few seconds or analytical effort gives me a bunch h of other numbers.  One after another.  I try to memorize them.  Even thought they are quite large, without my glasses and a context I’m having trouble with what it’s trying to tell me.  I try it again with a pen and paper.  What do they weigh?

Still 190.2 pounds with the pen and paper.

Apparently my body fat is 13.3%.  Which according to the manual is “Low”.  Hah! So I guess I’d better stop by Hooters and pick up some hot wings.

My total body water rings in at 58.2%.  Which apparently is ‘normal’.  Yay?

My muscle mass, which if I ever write a graphic novel about pro wrestling the title character might be named “Muscle Mass” and he’d be Catholic, but I digress…my muscle mass is 40.2% which is average?

My bone mass, (which would make a great title for a forensic thriller), is 5.8 pounds, and that’s in the green zone too.

Well good news is that I’m perfectly normal, well physically that is…

I like the look and feel of the scale.  I think if I was actually interested in this data I would need some sort of communication method to my laptop.  I’m sure there’s a version with Bluetooth.

I can see this being a boon to people who are beginning their journey to physical fitness.  This would give them a bigger picture and a more holistic view of the progress and benefits of an endurance lifestyle.  Maybe the simple fact that I’m ‘normal’ is vindication of the science?

Weight is such a non-important factor in the well-being of an individual.  Muscle mass is a much greater indicator of progress for someone coming off the couch.

Those of you who like your naked morning rendezvous with the bathroom scale will be thrilled to have more data points to micromanage.

I like the device for fit, form and function.  I still don’t know if I need one.

Feel free to weigh in (heh heh) on the subject.

Chris,

 

 

 

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